


'You have nothing to be ashamed of'

by Drhair76



Series: You don't have to say I love you to say I love you [11]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bisexual Spencer Reid, Coming Out, F/M, Feels, Gen, Hotch is lowkey a badass, JJ is soft, Late Night Conversations, Like, M/M, Spencer and JJ are ultra bestfriends and NOT lovers idc, Will is iconic, bite me, im sorrry but he breaks the rules a LOT, only a badass would
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-29 07:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19825450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drhair76/pseuds/Drhair76
Summary: Will saw her look and turned around to look at the table."Oh my god." She whispered.Once she saw the two of them sitting across from each other with their hands intertwined over the table, a lot of things suddenly clicked. Those kind gazes that they shot each other across the bullpen weren't just kind, they were loving.Morgan's insistence of going with Spencer into the field and Spencer borrowing some of his Derek's clothes made sense now.They were dating.or, Spencer and Derek come out to the team and JJ is slightly distressed.





	'You have nothing to be ashamed of'

JJ smiled at her husband for what felt like the fifth time in the last hour. He walked around their car and opened the door on her side. She accepted his hand and stepped out of the car. 

They had all been solving cases nonstop for about three weeks now and everyone was getting exhausted. Garcia's witty nicknames were becoming less and less creative, Morgan was getting more and more tense, even Emily had started to get agitated, her normally relaxed and stoic personality becoming impulsive and snappy. Hotch talked with Erin and with help from Dave, was able to pull a couple of days off for them all. The team was finally able to catch a break, and JJ figured that with that time, she'd go on a date night with Will. 

"I honestly can't remember the last time we went out." Will sighed, happiness clear in his voice as he shut the car door behind her. 

"Me either." JJ agreed, keeping her hand in his as they walked up to the restaurant. Usually JJ wasn't big on public affection, preferring to keep all of her intimacy between her and her husband, but today she felt slightly clingy and Will didn't seem to mind it either. 

They decided to get a reservation at the expensive italian restaurant that Will had been dropping hints about for a while now. 

JJ had teased him at first, saying how funny it was that he was the one asking if she could take him on a proper date but Will simply replied with 'I just want to spend some quality time with my girl' and JJ couldn't possibly make fun of that. 

They walked in together and Will stepped forward to talk to the hostess. Meanwhile JJ automatically scanned the room. It was a habit that she couldn't break even if she wanted to. 

The restaurant was dark, with soft instrumental music playing throughout. The room was filled with the sounds of people talking quietly and glasses and silverware clinking. JJ took a moment to breathe in the smell of pasta and smiled to herself. 

"Having a good time already?" Will whispered with a fond smile and JJ looked to see him and the hostess looking at her patiently. JJ blushed and started to follow them. 

The woman led them through to the dining room and around a bunch of tables filled with chattering people. 

"Your server will be with you shortly." The hostess said with a polite smile before hurrying back the way she came. 

They talked about Henry and work for a while before their waitress came bustling over. "Hi, My name is Jessica and I'll be your waitress tonight. Would you like something to drink and some rolls to get started?" 

"Yes please." JJ said. "I'll have a water with ice."

"And I'll have one without."

"Alrighty, I'll be back with that in a flash." She said and walked off. 

"So how's the team?" Will asked, leaning forward slightly. 

"Garcia is great, her and Kevin are just the cutest couple-" 

"After us, of course." Will interjected with a grin. 

"Oh of course." She laughed. 

"Aaron has Jack trying out for soccer again this year and Emily is still dealing with her mother, but that's to be expected. Dave still wants all of us to come to a party at his place, so we need to set a date for that. And Morgan is-" Jennifer stopped abruptly. 

"Morgan is what?" Will asked. 

"Uh, he's right over there." She blinked and Will turned to look.

And he was. Morgan was about three tables away from them, dressed to the nines in a black, form fitting suit. He was being seated by their waitress, who clearly had the hots for him. She was all blushing and flustered, twirling her hair around her finger unconsciously. And of course it didn't help that he kept flashing her that charming smile. 

"I wonder who he's with?" Will questioned and JJ nodded. 

"Me too." JJ looked around for a woman to be following him or walking up to the table but she didn't see anyone. 

"Maybe she's in the bathroom?" JJ offered and Will shrugged. 

They returned to their conversation but JJ was mulling Morgan over in the back of her mind. She hadn't heard him talking about a new date recently or anything, in fact it seemed like he was completely single, settling with hanging out more with Reid. They've been getting closer recently, not like they weren't close before, but there was something different about them now, a much more comfortable vibe that JJ couldn't really define. Her thoughts were interrupted by their waitress bringing their drinks and bread over. 

"One water with ice," She placed the glass down in front of JJ. "And one without." 

"Thanks." 

"Are you two ready to order?" She clicked her pen and Will looked at her expectantly. 

"Yeah, I'll have the fettuccine alfredo with the grilled chicken." She said with a smile. Will ordered some linguine with red sauce and the waitress scribbled it down furiously. 

JJ looked over to Morgan's table for a split second and her jaw practically dropped. 

It was Reid! 

Will saw her look and turned around to look at the table.

"Oh my god." She whispered.

Once she saw the two of them sitting across from each other with their hands intertwined over the table, a lot of things suddenly clicked. Those kind gazes that they shot each other across the bullpen weren't just kind, they were _loving_.

Morgan's insistence of going with Spencer into the field and Spencer borrowing some of his Derek's clothes made sense now. 

They were _dating_.

Jennifer suddenly felt a weird sense of despair. She was Spencer's _best friend_ and she didn't know he was dating Morgan. She didn't even know he wasn't straight. 

"Well, are you gonna go over there and say hello?" Will asked gently with a tilt of his head. 

"No, they're on a date." JJ said with a shrug. Will gave her a knowing look but nodded, leaving JJ to her thoughts. 

....

They were back at work within a day or two. 

JJ didn't know whether or not to say anything, she didn't even know if Spence or Morgan had seen her and Will at the restaurant. But it seemed her decision had been made for her when Derek and Spencer walked in together with their hands intertwined. 

JJ watched the other FBI agents pause for a moment before turning back to what they were doing, as if it wasn't a shock. 

Garcia came bouncing in behind them with a bright and seemingly relieved smile on her face. 

JJ was about to catch Spencer's attention when Hotch called for them up in the conference room. 

"Guys, we have a case." 

Those five words forced JJ to push Spencer and Morgan out of her mind. 

Well, at least until later. 

...

And later, it turns out, was pretty late. 

JJ ended up going the entire day hardly seeing Spencer. Whenever there was a lull in the case and she moved to bring it up, another officer came stumbling into the room to interrupt them with some details they found. 

At one point, they were about to head into the field to check out a new scene. JJ was positive she'd be paired with Spencer, seeing as she was majority of the time. But it was as if Hotch was in on the ruse of keeping JJ away from Spencer. 

Reid and Morgan were paired together and JJ was paired with Emily. 

But seeing Spencer and Morgan's happy and relieved looks made it obvious that the pairings were deliberate; Hotch's own little show of support. 

JJ almost felt guilty for being upset about it. 

...

They didn't make a break on the case. 

And JJ didn't either. Her personal mission was looking more and more unlikely. At this point she was just planning on texting Spencer and letting him know she didn't care who he dated or who he didn't and that she was still gonna be his best friend for as long as he'd let her. 

Almost everyone was able to show their own little sign of support, Garcia had come onto the screen with a brand new rainbow flag on her wall, Emily had given a loving but stern shovel talk to the both of them and Rossi had casually offered to have a coming out party at his house. 

But everytime JJ went to bring it up, Spencer seemed to go on a ramble about the case or found a way to exit the room before she could start. 

Not to mention the fact that everyone was completely hectic because of the three bodies in the morgue. JJ knew she should've been focused. She knew she should stop worrying so much and just wait until they were finished but she couldn't help herself. 

What if Spencer didn't tell her because he was worried that she wouldnt be accepting? Was she a bad friend? 

JJ was two seconds from calling Spencer's phone when the debriefing room opened. She turned, her eyes widening slightly when she saw Spencer there. 

She figured that everyone had gone home for the night but it seemed that Spencer was still here. 

"Spencer, hey." She stuttered, trying to sound casual and not like she was just stressing over whether or not to text him. "What are you still doing here?" 

Spencer's eyes had initially widened in slight apprehension when he saw her but then he relaxed and moved towards the white board in the middle of the room. 

"I accidentally left my phone." He sighed, grabbing the familiar device that was laying innocently on the table _right in front of JJ_. "What about you? Why are you still here?" 

JJ blinked. 

Why could she say? Hey, yeah, I'm still here because I'm stressing over why you didn't tell me you were dating Derek and I was wondering if you ever thought I was a homophobe and I also wanted you to know that I will always love you no matter what? 

"Uh-"

Spencer's expression shifted to worry and he paused for a brief moment before sitting down in front of her. 

"Are you okay JJ?" 

Spencer's gaze was soft and full of love and patience despite the tired tint to his tone. JJ felt shame briefly wash over her and she looked away from his intense eyes. 

"I-I-" She sighed. "You know I love you right?"

She peeked back up at him and he raised his eyebrows. 

"I- yeah." Spencer nodded after a moment. "Yeah, I do." 

JJ felt relief flow through her, making her insides feel wobbly for a second. 

"Good. _Good."_ She nodded. Spencer leaned forward slightly, narrowing his eyes. 

"Are you _okay_ JJ?" He repeated. 

JJ paused. 

"I just- I just want you to know," She began slowly, haltingly, carefully. "That you can tell me anything at anytime, no matter what. And that there's nothing for you to be ashamed of. And that I will always, _always_ love you no matter what."

Spencer reared back, slumping slightly in his chair. JJ could see his brown eyes watering slightly and watched him chew the inside of his cheek in thought. 

JJ was more than happy to let the moment sit between them. It was quiet but comfortable and now that JJ was looking, she could see a tension that had been in Spencer's shoulders all day finally release. 

"Thank you." He finally choked out. "I- thank you. That makes me feel- " He paused, searching. "Safe. That makes me feel safe." He decided. 

JJ's chest swelled and she inhaled sharply. "I'm glad. You should-you _should_ feel safe." 

With me went left unsaid but not unheard. 

Spencer nodded, his brown hair flopping slightly. "Yeah, I should. And I should've told you-"

JJ moved to protest immediately but Spencer cut her off. 

"No, you're my best friend Jen." He said, his eyes softening. "And I knew you wouldn't- but I was just scared I guess."

JJ nodded. 

"But it was stupid and Derek _tried_ to tell me," Spencer chuckled and if it was even possible, his eyes went _softer._ "but of course I didn't listen." 

"Oh, of _course_." She said jokingly. Spencer laughed and the moment hung there before she sobered. 

"He makes you happy?" And it really wasn't a question if JJ was being honest. She could _see_ Spencer's happiness right in front of her. 

And Derek wasn't even in the room yet. 

Spencer laughed again, quieter this time. "Ah, _yeah._ So happy J. So completely happy. Like you and Will."

And that was something that JJ couldn't argue with. Will makes her blush with happiness like she was in middle school or something. There was no one she could imagine herself being happier with. 

"Well," JJ said with a smile. "then that's what matters to me." 

Spencer's goofy, lopsided smile made all of JJ's worrying worth it. 


End file.
